Singles- First impression with your inlaws_HOW TO MAKE YOUR INLAWS ACCEPT YOU


1) Learn about them.
You don\’t have to see someone physically before you can know something about them. Ask your partner about their culture, how they greet over there, don\’t go and say \”Hi, good Afternoon Everybody\” when they expect you to probably kneel to greet, like we do in Yoruba land in western part of Nigeria.
You could learn how to greet in their language too (if you are from a different tribe),  but if you don\’t know how to pronounce the language well, don\’t sound stupid. Just keep it that way.
your in-laws will be happy to know you are trying to learn their ways.
Reseach about the people you\’ll be meeting, so you don\’t say things that may embarrass or offend anyone, for example,  know your in-laws by their names, looks, yes looks, we are in the era of social media, your spouse should atleast have the picture of the key members of his family.
Don\’t go to your in-laws place for the first time unprepared, buy small small things for the younger ones. Be familiar with them already. Don\’t go and be forming there o
First Impression lasts long.
2) Dress Well
As a Lady, don\’t dress like you want to seduce all the Men in his family, even if short skirts is your trade, try and dress well that day, and don\’t also dress like it is your traditional marriage ceremony.
Be moderate, don\’t be going to visit a Mother-in-law to be who believes deeply in decent dressing and then dress exposing your cleavages and laps, before you hear \”My Son, let me have a word with you inside\”
As a young Man, dress responsibly, don\’t dress like a gateman to see your in-laws, don\’t wear rumpled clothes, or wear shoes that look like what a tailor made..
You will be ADDRESSED the way you DRESS
3) Don\’t go and be doing Akanchi
Akanchi means stingy. Don\’t go empty handed, you are not trying to buy them over, but you are also generous, right? Small gift will stamp your name and that date in their mind forever.
Your gift should suit them, that is why research is very important. Don\’t just buy any gift you like, the father or mother may have allergies, dislikes, so ask your spouse what best to buy for their parents,
Don\’t buy for instance, alcoholic wine to a pentecostal Christian Family as gift, you would have failed exam even before you got the question papers that way.
If their father or mother were a writer, a leather jotter or notepad will be a perfect gift.
Please don\’t be cheap, don\’t buy bread by the road side to present to your in-laws,. We are in the 21st century, be creative 
4) Avoid excessive display of physical Intimacy.
Ha, from where to where na. Don\’t go and visit your in-laws and be groping or touching their son or daughter all over in their presence, Avoid too much emotional and physical display of affection
It\’ll make the meeting awkward
Sit down where you were asked to sit and respect yourself.
They know you love each other, Keep your hands in your pocket and don\’t let the devil use you.
Don\’t give the impression you both have been having sex(Jesus).  They\’d wonder if you are the right person for their child morally speaking, and You would attract unnecessary suspicion and questions that way.
5) Avoid pressing your Phone excessively. 
What a shameful thing to do. Who dey choke you?
Especially those of you that are addicted to pressing phone, you didn\’t leave your house to your in-laws just to Facebook and press phone.
You came for business. Focus.
Switch off the phone or ignore it and focus on making a good impression and befriending your prospective in-laws.
Your father in law to be should not be calling your name and you are obviously lost, scrolling and commenting on Facebook.. or when he\’s talking to you, and asking you serious question, you\’ll be smiling and saying yes sir, yes sir.
6) Interact with your inlaws
You are there to make friends.
Talk, don\’t keep to yourself.
Laugh, ask questions, answer questions, interact lovingly, compliment the food, compliment their home, compliment their looks, compliment things worthy of compliment, smile, communicate and have Fun
Don\’t go there and be looking like someone that is lost, as if you left your brain and tongue at home.
Leave a good impression on their hearts and they\’ll look forward to your next visit.
7) Don\’t forget table Manners
We know you like food, but that\’s not the reason you came, don\’t eat and be asking for extra 2 plates, and take away, there\’ll be subsequent visits for you to do that, don\’t eat and be dropping soup everywhere, don\’t talk with your mouth full, when you are not Shrek.
Behave when you are offered food…
Don\’t forget your home training and embarrass yourself, they are watching you.
You came for Introduction, not to Eat.
8) Don\’t Pick a Fight
Don\’t go there and make trouble, even if your profile on Facebook reads \”never to shy to look for trouble\”
Be a preacher of love at your in-laws place, if anyone intentionally says any thing uncouth at you, smile and act as If you didn\’t hear it, don\’t reply in like manner,
If anything is said or done that displeases you, keep quiet, you can take it out on or rather sort it out with your partner later when you leave.
Don\’t go to your in-laws place and pick a fight with his mother of her father. It can end a Relationship.
9) Be Respectful/Offer to Help
Be respectful, don\’t go there and act as if everybody is your mate.
Greet those who are elder to you
If there\’s work to be done, offer to help, it\’s not eye service, it\’s what you\’ll do if you were at you own parent\’s place.
If you see his Mom or her Dad doing something you can and know how to do, offer to assist, don\’t raise your legs for his Mum or her Mum to sweep the floor., It\’s not done. Note: don\’t over do it
10) Don\’t try too hard to please them
Be yourself.
No lies, you don\’t have to agree with everything you see and hear before they\’ll like you, respectfully opine your views,.
You are a Chelsea fan, and his Dad is a Man U fan, you don\’t have to
become a Man U fan just to impress him. Argue lovingly and respectfully, you will still earn his respect.
Don\’t become a \”Yes Sir, Yes Ma\” person, talk with your convictions and beliefs but respectfully, and don\’t argue with your in-laws, because some of you are journalists, know when to let an issue drop.
11) Most Importantly, Pray and fast before going. There are battles from husband\’s house too. Some in laws can be difficult, pray and commit your visit into the hand of God, so you\’ll find favor in their eyes even when they initially were set to dislike you….
In the end, no matter how the first visit goes, do not lose hope. Opportunities to make good second impressions will always abound should you miss it the first time.
Curled from Singles and marriage group on facebook

Edited by JFJ


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