Many years ago, a very close friend came visiting me. No sooner had she arrived that her phone started ringing. We continued our chit-chats and her phone rang again, it was not a nice conversation but I decided not to get myself involved when I noticed her mood changed.

Her fiance didn’t believe she was actually in my house. Finally, he called for the last time and requested his fiancee to give the phone to me. I had no option than to allay his fear that the lady is not with another man but with me.


The second incident happened on her next visit, he called as usual and told his fiancee to forward my address to him. Barely 30minutes after, he showed up in my house and right then I knew something wasn’t right in their relationship.

I questioned my friend’s trustworthiness. But she bitterly put up a defense

“He is always like that. He is always suspicious of my every move, checks and inspects my phone at annoying rates, questions my friendship with the opposite sex, read my chats, text and trace my call log, he embarrasses me before people I visit. On many occasions, he has asked me to give the phone to my host to confirm who I spend time with.”


I jokingly asked the guy the need for checking on his fiancee everywhere and anywhere.

“I just want to know” he replied



I know of another couple way back in the University, the guy would asked the lady to undress before him for inspection on her return from outings. He would feel her pant, perceive it and ask her to provide the break down of her movement for the day. He wanted to be sure she\’s not sleeping with another man.



Another couple, this man is a driver and his closing time from work is mostly dependent on the schedule of his boss. To the wife, the man keeps late night because he is having extra marital affair. She would call him in the evening and rain down wounding words at him, while her husband tried to convince her he wasn\’t spending time with any side chick but stuck in the traffic.



I know google has provided you 101 ways to spot cheating spouse but I have got a way out for you.

Your spouse is yours, I am not in anyway asking you to stop phone inspection, tracking their movements, sneaking on them and all if it gives you your kind of peace of mind Let every man be convinced.

But I am sure this act will steal the joy in your marriage and give you hypertension at the end it doesn’t work at all. Drop it.

I know of one major reliable check to run on your spouse to keep them grounded in God and faithful to you.

You check the phone but failed to check their SOUL

Running checks on the spiritual health of your spouse is the big deal.

Before any child of God could fall into immorality, something has happened to his/her fellowship with the Lord before time.

Watch over the SOUL of your spouse!

Does he/she observe personal quiet time regularly? How is your spouse’s prayer life?

Does he/she observe Bible study time?

What about family devotion time? Can you please drop his/her phone and feel your spouse spiritual temperature.

Are you seeking the fruits of righteousness in your spouse or their flaws?

How does your spouse handle the things of God? Watch their zeal and help to improve it.

What books do they read or which Christian books do you encourage your spouse to read?

Do you encourage each other to spiritual maturity and stability?

Always look for ways to help improve the spiritual life of your spouse.

Attend programs together!

Introduce each other to spiritual meats e. g Christian sites, good e-books, audio messages, watch Christian movies together etc

I must say this is the most commonly neglected area of checks.


Your spouse’s faithfulness is directed to God FIRST then to you. He who fears no God has no reference for commitment and marital covenant.

Keep this check alive ensuring your spouse relationship with God is correct.


If your spouse’s relationship with God is right, they will keep loving and treating you right.


Can’t I go through my spouse’s phone? Why not. Only do with no drive of suspicion or intention/motive of catching them red handed in unfaithfulness. The truth is a cheating spouse does more evil to his/her soul than the heartache their spouse go through.


It is a commandment of God that we all drink water from our own Cistern. ❤ ❤ ❤


Esther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi

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